Pruning . . . it’s never really seemed like a bad thing to me. It’s what make roses bloom and us appreciate them with such fervor; it’s the process that make fruit trees bear good tasty desirable fruit; it’s what turns a bush in to a masterpiece topiary. Pruning is a good thing- but often it hurts. And when it all happens a once it feels like you've been laid bare- stripped.
Jake and I have recently joined a Messianic synagogue Adait Yesuah and love it! And the more I read the story of Israel the more I see myself. Continually grumbling, even though I've seen the hand of God move over and over. The whole Bible, Genesis to Revelation of Jesus Christ is applicable to our lives!!!
Right now, my life reminds me of Israel as they started to leave the desert. The desert may not have been ideal but it had become normal and comfortable. There was a routine. Manna to collect every morning, hauling water, setting up camp and taking it down, sand as far as you could see. When Israel started to enter the promise land the Manna stopped, the cloud by day and fire by night disappeared- status quo changed. God's provision continued it just came in a new way. They had to take a hold of the promises for themselves, listen and act. It was time! Time to finally eat milk and honey that they had only dreamed about. Their parents and grandparents had told them what grapes, apples, figs had tasted like; how delicious the smell of fresh baked bread was. It was finally time; however, that meant leaving what they known for a whole generation, for some of them it was more than their whole life span. Manna maybe bland but when the option of eating it for the rest of your life or facing giants, manna suddenly sounds nicer- it’s comfortable, easy and familiar. But God was shifting normal, they were being pruned of what they had come to know. Giving up the old for something better.
The promise land was different than they had ever experienced. In the dessert they saw the hand of God move in power ways but this was different- other people were involved not just the Israelites. Strong cities, powerful people, and wild animals would fall before the world of the Lord AND their obedience. They were leaving the familiar for something greater and facing fears, giants, and everything that had exalted itself against God.
In my life I feel like the Lord has made some specific promises to me, especially about this year. And right now I’m being stripped of my security, my comfort and of my normal. My house,* the first one that I really felt at home in since moving to KC. My stuff in completely disorganized in random boxes. The kind of haphazard pack job that I HATE and that you lose stuff in because it didn't get packed together. Then my car, who was really my friend of 14 years, just died. And the security that I've had in friendships isn't there like it once was. For instance one of my best friends is leaving the country for an indefinite period of time. House, car, stuff, relationships, and finances- nothing is sound except His love for me! As you might imagine this brings up lots of stuff in my heart – hope, rejection, abandonment, peace, excitement for the new adventure and fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of people, what will they think as I succeed or fail? I know it’s time to enter into His promises but I’m still a bit “gun shy”. I don't feel prepared. There's apart of me that just wants to crawl into the corner and cry hoping that I will wake up to normal again. But the time for my promised land is now. I don’t want to miss it by my unwillingness to fight the battles (most of which are between my two ears) or face the giants. I want to follow His leading. I would really appreciate your prayers.
Israel inheriting the Promised Land wasn't just about her. It was about her calling to be a voice to the nations that there was one God, the eternal creator who cares about humans. I know that if I refuse to fight my giants I will miss many blessing for my own life but also the opportunity to bless many other people. I want to be faithful.
Thank you for you prayer!
I pray that for each of us when He says "Go!", we all will have the grace and strength to take the promised land He has for us! For His glory and his fame!! Ru-ah!!
Love,
Jenny
* My basement apartment flooded earlier this summer then molded. The water damage was minor. My roommate Stephanie, who was out of town, lost some sentimental things. However, the mold was bad and my landlords wanted the ability to clean up the mold and fix the problem so they kick us out. (It's a very expensive fix and not having renters in a financial blow on them as well. They have a 1 year old and new baby on the way.) My car was old and died, during routine maintenance a month after the flood and it's just not worth fixing. I'm "couch surfing" for June and July and when Stephanie returns in mid Aug we need different place to live. She's graciously let me use her car until she returns in Aug. So I'll need a new car by then as well.
